Blog 44

                I got a pretty good feedback on how people liked the title of the common place paper that I made up.  A lot of the feedback was good, but a lot was not so good.  Most people that did not like the title of the paper said that it was too assertive, which I agree with.  I made it up off of the top of my head when the teacher told us to come up with a title.  I didn’t like the Titles that they suggested, but a few gave me some good ideas.  Instead of “Change Your Life”, I’m going to change it to something similar to “Simple Steps on How to Conquer the World” I like this title because my topic is on hard work and dedication and if someone uses it correctly, then they can do anything they want, so I might as well set the bar high in the title.  Below is my new and revised introduction, including my new sentence.

               

You are in the middle of a long and tough race called life.  It’s very early in the race, and you are at the point where your next few steps will pace the entire rest of the race.  You are in high school, you’re working hard, and you got good grades.  You got involved in everything you could possibly be involved in that wouldn’t affect your grades in a negative way.  The things you were involved in, u also thrived in.  Second to no one is the mindset that you had, and now it’s your senior year.  It is now time to take a big step and move on to college.  You already got into each college you applied to so now all you have to do is choose the one that you like the best.  It’s that easy.  You know which one you want, and you envision yourself there having a great time and striving to be the best there, just like how you once did in high school.  The only problem is the one college that you really want to go to turn out to be out of reach for your family.  Your parents just cannot afford it.  Not only can you not go to the college of your dreams, but you are forced to go to that safety school.  This is a school that you really do not want to go to.  You really only applied to this school because they sent you a free application in the mail, and when you actually get to that college, you hate it.  That’s a rough start to the race, right?  It was for me.